Saturday, February 25, 2006

Setting up a catfight

Perhaps the most difficult part of this for women is finding other women to wrestle. While its popularity has grown, wrestling is still NOT the favored sports activity for women and many of us feel shy, intimidated, or confused by it.
If you find a friend who is willing to try it or a sister or cousin who is willing to "do you the favor", you're lucky. Most of us must find opponents in other ways and this is where the terrain may become a bit precarious.
The main problem is that the "woman" whom you are contacting could be a man, or a crazy person, or just somebody who's not serious. The latter is a waste of time; the two former could pose real danger.
So you have to "screen" opponents and the best way to initially find them is through one of the accepted directories such as Am-Fem (the International Directory of Female Fighting) or AFWG (the Amateur Female Wrestling Group), whose address is listed in Am-Fem. Both directories are full of potential opponents' ads. While I'm at it, you could join the dozens of women in the Combative Woman's Web Site's Ladies Corner. All those women are, at least, women: I know because I voice verify each and every one.
None of this is foolproof, of course, but all three are excellent initial screens. By the way, do NOT use an on-line service like AOL for attracting potential opponents. AOL is a poser's paradise and, while I have actually met several real women (including four Ladies Corner members) on AOL, that would represent less than a percent of the "women" who frequent the wrestling chat rooms. Don't waste your time -- stick to the authoritative sources.
So what SHOULD you do? Good question...
First Stage: Mail
The first rule is to use one of these sources, browse them for people near you with your interests and get in touch. For the on-line lists, you can email but the directories require a written communication.
Your letter should be simple: your interests, physical size, and your experience level. Be short, cordial, and respectful. Do NOT include a photo yet.As your return address, use something secure. A mailbox is best. On line, use a generic provider like Hotmail for the initial contact. Try not to use your home or your real email can give those when you've received an acceptable response.
When you receive the response, read it carefully. It's your first screen.
Does it seem like a woman? Is she really talking to you or just babbling about her "past fights" or the damage she does to opponents? Is she open and cordial or overly competitive and threatening? Do her self-references sound like a woman's or does she spend a lot of time talking about her breast size or describing herself as "looking like" some movie star?
I mean, listen girlfriend, do you know any REAL women who describe themselves to other women that way?Screen especially for overtly sexual descriptions, very violent anecdotes or hostile language or tone. These are all indications that the person is a man.
If the response feels right, write back going into more detail and responding to her questions (an experienced wrestler will ask several about your style and experience, for instance).Offer to mail a photo of yourself if none was including in HER response but just offer an exchange of photos. Do NOT send one yet. If she sent a photo that appears authentic, send yours back.
A word on photos: some wrestlers send pretty revealing photos but almost no real wrestler sends a nude photo. The reason for bikini photos is to show actual size and physicality since statistics don't tell the whole story. After all, you want to know if you're going to wrestle a world class body builder or someone who's out of shape, etc. BUT, you don't have to show that much -- although what's it matter if you look like Raven on the right (I sure don't!)?
Watch out for photos that seem professionally posed -- photos with very alluring facial expressions or overtly sexual content. Also watch for "model indicators" like perfect hair, perfect body proportions, extremely unique background scenes...stuff like that. While this doesn't mean the person is a fraud, it should raise a red flag and provoke questions from you about where this was shot and was it professionally done.
You don't have to send back a revealing photo; just make sure it's a full body photo which reveals what you look like. You can screen out the face if you'd like. She's going to grapple with your body, not your cheekbones.
One neat trick for photo verification is to exchange photos and then do it again and this time have the opponent put YOUR photo in hers and vice versa. That's illustrated in the photo to the right. After one exchange of photos with a Ladies Corner member in preparation for a match, I put the challenger's verification photo in this one and sent it back. It's tough to see here but I'm sitting on the photo. It was actually a joke -- you can imagine what the accompanying email said. LOL
Second stage: Phone
Listen! Always and I mean always, talk to potential opponents by phone before even thinking about meeting them.After you've seen the photos and are comfortable, offer a phone conversation. You can offer to call her or provide some safe number that isn't your home or work. Give a specific time to call or ask for one.Insist that you talk first to the woman and, when you make the call, follow that rule. Do NOT talk to men on the phone before speaking with the woman! DON'T DO THAT. If a guy answers (and that's perfectly understandable since many women live with men, right?) he will know not to start asking you a bunch of questions. Combative women are clear about this with our men -- we talk to the woman first and there's no exception.
In this conversation, be friendly and respectful and cover all the ground we mention in the rules section (which you may not have reached yet...but be patient).
After your phone chat you should be able to picture what the match will be like and who will be there and you should have some idea of the potential opponent's personality -- sense of humor, background, life-style. Not to suggest that you grill the poor woman; but actually chat with her. Don't just go through rules like a question and answer session -- talk about "stuff" as well.
Your opponent should be ready and open to talk in general about background and other matters not specifically related to wrestling. You're a woman, not a promoter; have a normal conversation.
After you've chatted with her some, you can invite her to put her mate on and talk with him/her. You should quickly go over the rules with this person and try to get a feel about his/her attitude: Does the person seem boastful about the fighter? Disdainful or disrespectful of you? Vindictive? Domineering? Challenging? Threatening? Does HE talk about her past opponents or matches and what tone does he adopt? Is he nasty toward past opponents, for instance. How does he refer to other women (does he use derogatory words?) How does he seem to relate to her? Is the attitude caring or disdainful?
All of this is important because, even if you like HER, you have to ask what she's doing with a jerk and how that will affect her actions. You know what makes you uncomfortable and, if anything does, go on to someone else.
If everything's cool, talk about a personal meeting in public.
Third Stage: Contact
The public meeting can take place some days before an actual match or immediately before it. But you MUST do it because a closed room is NOT the place to suddenly realize you're with a nut case. The meeting should be in a public place (for instance, over coffee or a drink) and should start only with you two. The guys can join you later.Set it up and attend it. Dress as you do for a "lunch date" or whatever and act as you would in that circumstance: cordial, open and respectful.At the public meeting, your goal is to get to know this person a bit NOT to egg her on. She'll be ready for the fight when it comes -- you don't have to psyche her up.
Is she friendly, does she appear sane, is she flexible about rules, is she specific and concrete or is she vague about anything? Basically, are YOU comfortable with her?
Again, have the mates or observers join you at some point and just chat about stuff. In general, it's advisable to steer clear of talking about the match itself with the mates. Just get a feel for chemistry. You don't have to be buddies but you should get a comfortable feeling of cordiality and respect. You should FEEL safe.

Catfight video

Few catfight pics

few images provided by the best cat fight site

Catfight, Female wrestling, erotic combat

have never fought a woman I didn't least a bit. LOL
That may seem a strange statement because we are taught that "fighting" is something you do in anger or with foul purpose. But trust me, you'll understand what I mean the very first time you wrestle another woman. The experience of sharing the nervousness, excitement, physical challenge and adventure is really a "binding" experience for women and you are probably going to feel a real kinship with your opponent.
THAT is not the problem for most of us. The problem is actually fighting her. Because there is a bottom line and we might as well make it clear up front:
Combative women fight other combative women and we fight to win.
We do for fun because it IS fun, a lot of fun. We do it respectfully and safely and out of friendship because the experience makes us grow and we can't have that experience without our opponents. We care about our opponents' safety and feelings because, as opponents, they are our girlfriends -- not our enemies. And we make a bond with them because, as they help us grow and enjoy what we're doing, we do the same for them.
But, for that to happen, we have to try to beat them! And that's what this section is about.
When you do your first match, you're going to be nervous as hell. This will not change for a while. Not only is this a new experience and a potentially exciting one but it's one you've probably pictured in your mind for some time and you're just not sure how it will actually play out.
For women, one of the main issues is our programmed difficulty in actually "fighting" someone we're not angry with and our fear of provoking anger or bad feelings in another woman.
How "heavy" should I get? Where do I grab her? How rough is too rough? Will she be embarassed if I beat her? Will I if she beats me?
These are not minor issues. They are significant feelings for you personally and in the context of relationships among women and it's good that they are coming up. You're not rivals or enemies. Women are trained to be careful about the feelings of the other woman. After all, we are concerned about our feelings and how she treats us, no?
This is the first place where an important attitude shift must occur. Girlfriend, remember why you're there: you are getting together to compete physically and to explore what that means for each of you.
Wrestling is just fun, of course, but it can also be a deepening experience for you: you're using muscles in ways most women don't, you are struggling against a person who is about as strong as you. You're not "fighting back" against an attacker here -- you are attacking as well. The goal is no longer "survival" or getting away as in a physical attack from a man; the goal here is to beat her.
The important thing is to convince yourself of a simple fact: SHE wants you to try to beat her. Because if you don't, you are cheating her out of the full extent of self-exploration available during a match. How is she going to really test herself or experience these new emotions and feelings and physical stresses unless you're really posing a challenge to her.
In the real world, you are both going to feel some pressure possibly from your men or other observers. You may be encourage to engage in some kind of fantasy during the match which involves restraining yourselves and "not really fighting hard" or "letting her win", etc.
All of us have had these pressures and they must be rejected out of hand. That's not the say that you go in there to do anything to win. That's why we establish the rules we'll talk about later but, after you've set the rules, try as hard as you can within them.
Essentially, the rule for combative women is to be respectful and sensitive in setting up a match and after it and fighting within the rules with everything you have to beat her during the match.
While this may seem harsh or insensitive to her (or to you, if you lose), it is really the highest form of respect and support for her. You're giving her something that will let her achieve her goal and let her grow. And she is doing the same for you. You will NOT enjoy a match in which one of you isn't trying hard.
The pic on the right is worth a thousand words: Kritza and Melanie of DWW have just ended a really rough and tumble battle and here's THEIR reaction.
So...fight! Grab her wherever you can, struggle to get her down, struggle to stay on top of her, fight hard to hold her in place, fight like hell to get out of her holds. Push, pull, roll, grab and hold. Don't be afraid to hurt her. Unless you are much more experienced than she or much bigger, you won't.
If you think she's "tanking" (holding back), whisper to her to try harder. Just do it. If she's experienced, she'll know how much and what to do to really give you a fight without hurting you. If she's as experienced as you are, then there's no problem with trying.
In short, you should never be afraid to wrestle hard and wrestle to win. She will do the same and, win or lose, each of you will emerge feeling that you've had fun and that, in a small way perhaps, your world is a slightly different place.

Golden rule

The golden rule in catfight, female wrestling, erotic combats...

This is THE cardinal rule for all combative women and all of them, especially the most experienced, will attest to that simple fact. It's a rule that emanates from the very philosophy of female recreational wrestling and there is NEVER an exception to it.
You may get pressure from mates or observers to do something that fulfills a fantasy or seems, to them, natural, normal or exciting in some way. You must resist that pressure; in fact, you should verbally and clearly reject it. The point to make to everyone who will observer a match is that the women who are doing the match MUST be in control of everything.
Philosophically this makes sense when you think about why you're wrestling. You have here an opportunity to stretch yourself and do something that society often tells us we can't do -- use your strength in a one on one competition with a member of our sex who is about as strong as you are. The possibilities are exciting here and you'll see, once you try it, how it really does change your own feelings about yourself and what you can do. It can actually change your life!
But that potential will be frustrated if you aren't in control. If you're acting like a puppet in someone else's fantasy theatre, you aren't going to feel as good about yourself as a result of this experience. Again, that's not to say it's not satisfying to fulfill your mate's fantasies: I know it IS very satisfying. But you need to do that on YOUR terms and doing only what YOU and your opponent are willing to do. You're doing this for yourselves -- the enjoyment of others is a wonderful by-product but only that. :-)
Soooooo.... Before you fight another woman, be clear about what you will do to each other, be sure that is acceptable to both, respect those limits in negotiatiing the match and respect them during the match. NEVER do something to someone unless you are sure she is willing.
This doesn't mean you have to discuss headlocks in a wrestling match. Much is understood before you even talk. But, for example, never pull hair unless you've agreed to it and never ever eroticize a fight unless you have both agreed to do so.
This is critical if a wrestling match or catfight is going to be enjoyable for both participants. The only people who like to do things to people without consent are abusive people. And they have nothing to do with what we are talking about here and you should have nothing to do with them.
This is a theme that runs throughout this entire site because it's fundamental to the mutural respect two women should have for each other and the respect from others they deserve.

Erotic combat

Also called erotic wrestling, "adult fighting", or "sexfighting", is actually a wide variety of encounters -- some competitive, some basically sex. While some "purists" may quibble with me, the fact is that erotic combat is quite popular and, in fact, many women who wrestle seriously also do erotic fighting matches occasionally (or more often than that).
The most popular form of sex fight is a wrestling match in which the women are allowed to touch each other sexually, particularly in the crotch area. For the most part, in safe competition, this involves rubbing with the hand or another body part. In other words, you're fighting but you are also allowed to manipulate that part of the body either to distract the opponent or to actually bring her to orgasm.
There are also forms of sexfighting which don't involve much combat -- they are more "competitive sex" in which the opponents allow each other to use sexual techniques and the woman who "comes" first loses.
Finally, there is a very popular kind of wrestling called "face straddle" or "face sitting" submission wrestling. This involves a match which ends with one opponent straddling the other. While this sometimes stops immediately with a submission (which makes it non-sexual), it can involve the loser bringing the victor to orgasm.
That is by consent and that's a great segue to the golden rule section.


Catfighting is a sexist, derogatory term describing a brawl between two women. The very word conjures up an image of a frenzied, out of control fight with nails used as principle weapons and the fighters are mere animals.
But, like many terms of injustice, the term has been appropriated by combative women to mean something else entirely.
Read carefully now because a lot of people still don't "get" this: the "catfighting" we are referring to is "rules catfighting" and it has a long and treasured place in the history of female combative activities. It is really nothing more than a wrestling match in which the women are allowed to use certain pain-oriented techniques such as hair-pulling, breast grabbing, and slapping.
A rules catfight is PART of recreational wrestling.
While the term, in popular parlance, may mean a brawl and the rules in OUR world may be designed to simulate such an affair, rules catfights strictly prohibit punching, scratching, choking or biting. In short, they're rough but not dangerous and the rules are set up to prevent any injury of any kind.
Catfights are usually continued until a submission.

Female Wrestling

An athletic competition in which two people attempt to render each other incapable of movement either by pinning the opponent's shoulders to the surface or forcing her to submit.
Wrestling is fighting without blows: grappling with rules.
You've done it. Maybe it was some horsing around with a girlfriend or your sister or cousin when you were younger. Or maybe you've actually been in a fight or two (it does happen).
Wrestling is a natural reaction to being restrained.
Contrary to what many people think, women have wrestled and fought for as long as recorded history and we take up some of that herstory in the appropriate section of this site. I encourage you to take a look -- just for some historical background and to get a feeling that you're "not alone".
And you're not. Today, thousands of women in this country wrestle each other in private for recreation. Hundreds wrestle in tournaments and public match situations. And the number, in both scenarios, is growing. In fact, wrestling networks and directories have hundreds of women subscribers who advertise for matches and issue and accept challenges and our own Ladies Corner has a long list of real, voice-verified women looking for matches.
There's no question that this is an outgrowth of the increasing confidence and independence that women feel and enjoy in a society changed dramatically by feminist thinking and movements. It's been accelerated by the development of female body-building, by the increasing interest in body toning and aerobics, the opening to women of all kinds of sports, and, of course, by changes in sexual mores.
It's fun. It's done. It's safe. And it IS natural no matter what people may tell you. If you're intrigued by it or actually want to do it, you must understand that you're not alone and that normal women, with jobs, kids, families and everything else we shoulder in this society, do it a lot and look for other with whom to do it.
Let me say something up front. There are some people who think it's strange or even sick for women to want to wrestle other women. There's a real simple answer: is it either sick or strange for men to wrestle? Some tell men who like to watch women wrestle that their interest is sick or strange. There's a simple answer: Why? But the more important issue is that this is not your problem because you're a woman and nobody on earth should be telling you should not try a harmless and fun and interesting activity because of your sex. :-)
Lots of women do straight wrestling as described above but there are many tangents to it, as diverse as people's imagination. Still, because I'm not writing a whole book here, I'll divide them into two general categories: catfighting and sexfighting.

few thoughts about catfighting...

It's is a "tutorial" about how to actually go about wrestling other women: getting opponents, setting up matches, rules for various types of matches, conduct guidelines, doing scenes, security and safety precautions and even how a man can involve his mate in wrestling.
This "tutorial" comprised most of the original Combative Woman's Web Site when it was first launched about seven years ago. It is still the only primer of its kind on the Internet.
An important note here: while our site supports many forms of female combative activity (including organized sports), this tutorial is designed for the "recreational wrestler": a woman who does it only for fun, usually in the privacy of a home, in front of a select and usually small group of observers. It's a past-time, hobby or fun activity for her.
For the record, we coined the phrase "recreational wrestler" because, to be honest, there was no definition for what we do or niche for us. Okay? Now, before we start...
A frequent question:
Why would a woman wrestle another woman?
On its face, the question appears pregnant with sexism. I mean, hell, why would a man wrestle another man, right? But we know that answer is disingenuous. The sexism encased in the question affects all of us and, because we're exposed to that sexism from birth, we simply have to buy into some of it on some level.
We're taught to not fight, to not use our strength, not to compete physically or even to exert ourselves, to never sweat or grunt in public, to not expose our bodies against the bodies of other women.
We're taught that women who do that are crazy, or "low", or "perverted". Those aren't easy biases to confront and overcome for any woman. Girlfriend, put the cards on the table, it's not easy for most of us to fight.
Those who do it cite many reasons. Exercise or fun, their own needs (including sexual), or the needs of partners (often sexual). Usually, like so much in life, it's a combination of these and all of them, including the last, are very good reasons. There's nothing wrong with two women getting together to do what they want safely and enjoyably no matter the reason.
In fact, I think it's especially wonderful if your wrestling turns your mate on. A couple that shares common sexual interests and can meet each other's sexual needs is very lucky indeed.
But in the end, it's about you and what YOU want to do. Do NOTHING in this world than you don't want to do. And the moment it stops being fun, drop matter what you think might be the impact on a relationship.
For most women, this means that you need to feel comfortable and safe and confident when you go into a match (particularly when you're first getting started).

Friday, February 24, 2006

Catfight, Cat fight

More often, the term cat fight is used for a physical altercation, between two women - cat fight.. It is stereotyped as involving slapping, scratching, hair-pulling, and sometimes biting as opposed to punching or kicking. It can also be used to describe two human females insulting one another verbally, or being unpleasant to one another. Many cat fights in cartoons, movies, and beer commercials end with at least one of the participants missing several articles of clothing. Cat fighting is also a popular subject amongst porn movies depicting multiple women in sexually suggestive and combative situations. In the 1970s, prurient interest in cat fighting lead to the popularity of several women in prison films.
Cat fighting has also recently been experiencing a boom in the form of payable entertainment. There are many different forms that now exist. Cat fighting media displays forms from the more recent extreme cat fight aspect, in which punching and kicking are included with the stereotypical array of woman fight tactics, such as scratching and the pulling of hair. Such stereotypical displays of anger are frequently demonstrated on the daytime television talk show The Jerry Springer Show. In more extreme variations such as in porn, face sitting is involved.
In the mediaThe subject of a cat fight was also once the focus of an episode of the popular TV sitcom Seinfeld, episode number 156, The Summer of George:
Elaine: Ok, why? Why do guys do this? What is so appealing to men about a cat fight?Kramer: Yeye cat fight!Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there's a chance they might somehow kiss.

One of the highest profile cat fights on television has been Miller Lite's racy Cat fight commercials in 2002, which were derided by many as sexist. The careers of both actresses in the commercial, Kitana Baker and Tanya Ballinger, enjoyed a major boost. It is notable for the fighters losing some articles of clothing after a brawl. Another famous Cat fight was the brawl in the toilet between Queen Latifah and Missi Pyle in the movie Bringing down the house which ends with Queen Latifah dunking Missi Pyle's head in the toilet bowl. Another minor celebrity who acchieved 15 minutes of fame as a result of a cat fights is Danielle House, a former Miss Canada International (1996) who was convicted for assaulting her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend in a bar-room. After serving her sentence, House was named Playboy's Playmate of the Month for December, 1997. The Song "Girlfight" by Brooke Valentine is about a nasty cat fight between 2 girls.
The top story for late night talk shows on November 6, 2005 was two cheerleaders for the Carolina Panthers, Renee Thomas and Angela Keathley, charged with battery and disorderly conduct, respectively. Patrons in the bar's women's bathroom voiced their annoyance at how long the two were occupying a stall. A fracas ensued. The combination of cat fighting, cheerleaders, and allegations of lesbian activity made for a perfect storm of titillating media. Catfight-Facesitting has recently,become very popular in pornography.
Perhaps the most famous form of cat fighting are those depicted in